Diet Warrior

I've been pretty bad about getting to Church lately. Tonight we decided to start going again after not going for about a month and I'm really happy we went.

Tonight's message was about being a warrior. Everyone is a warrior. I can tell you when I look in the mirror I don't see one. I see someone who's weak and gross and someone I don't like very much sometimes. I love who I see in the mirror. I stick up for her all the time. But I'd never call her a warrior... until tonight.

The beginning of service started with the scene from Kung Fu Panda. It was the scene where the trainer guy (can't remember his name) holds the food out for Po and says he can have it... when he's trained. He's going to have to work for it. He fails and fails and fails to get the food but each time you see him learning, getting stronger, improving. Then at the end when he's earned the food, he doesn't want it anymore. He's found what he really wanted to achieve his kung fu dream. I was laughing so hard because I always see myself as Po. I see myself as someone who has huge dreams and no confidence to attain them. I see this weight loss as my food. I want it so bad. But to get the weight loss I have to do the work. And in the end I'll have that weight loss and not care... because my dream is to be a better me. God holds things back from us and we complain but what He wants us to do is EARN THEM. Earn it, appreciate, see the bigger picture, realize His full love for us.

In 1 Samuel 16, God sends Samuel out to get a new king over Israel. First Samuel sees Jesse's son Eliab. He thinks this is the next king because he was tall and strong. But God says he doesn't choose Eliab. This happens in verse 6. But it's the end of verse 6 that really sticks out to me. God says "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."

Talk about wanting to cry in the middle of a Church service. I was doing everything I could to hold it back. Every day I get on that scale and see the number and every day my same response is UGHHHHH. I see that big number and I judge myself on it. Then I go out in public and I LET others judge me on my appearance.
No amount of weight loss, no amount of makeup, no amount of cosmetic surgery is going to change my heart. Isn't it amazing that out of the entire world, including ourselves, God sees something completely different. He sees what we are. He knows who we aspire to be. He knows our intentions. He knows our purpose. God sees me as a winner. He knows my heart. But He sees how down I am on myself and I know it breaks His heart. Why? Because HE wants ME to see it. That's why He pushes me so hard.

I started this weight loss journey saying I was going to take God with me every step of the way. I was going to start my day with prayer. I was going to pray before every workout.  I was going to be God's warrior who said "All things are possible though God." But I keep forgetting Him. I don't include Him in on this. Instead I ask people what THEY think. I go where the people go. But I have never just sat down with God and said "Hey, thanks for loving me the way that I am. Please give me the courage to love myself like you do. Please show me the good in me. Please give me the strength to improve myself. Please be with me through this hard journey." I don't need to stand in front of the mirror and criticize myself. I need to have a conversation with God. HE'S the one who has my back. HE'S the one who takes it and never leaves it.
He's training me to be a warrior, not a model. Because this world needs a warrior. He's put me through this battle for a reason. Sword in hand I will fight. I will put my body back together and show people we can be healthy for God. We can be happy for God. We can take care of ourselves, not for looks, but for God.

Ephesians 6:11- 13 "Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand."

The service ended with two of my favorite songs. So tonight I leave you with the song I left Church singing and links to the videos for them~~~~~~
"And if Our God is for us, then who could ever stop us
And if our God is with us, then what can stand against?
And if Our God is for us, then who could ever stop us
And if our God is with us, then what can stand against?
What can stand against?"
Chris Tomlin- Our God
and
my favorite song in the world
David Crowder Band- He Loves Us

I love you guys. Be sure to say thank you to God before you go to bed tonight. He doesn't hear it enough and we could never say it enough.