I had a conversation last night that I wanted to share with you because it's close to my heart.
TOPIC: The world sucks- It truly does. Bad things happen every day and we can't be a million places at once to save everyone. Eventually we need to give into the fact that bad things will happen to us.
So since this is fact, why are we so determined to hide that things happen to us? Why can't we just admit THIS HAPPENED TO ME, IT SUCKS, HUG ME! It's ok to ask for a pity party every now and then.
Bad things happen every day. Yes it happens to everyone. BUT THIS IS YOU AND YOUR ONLY CHANCE AT LIFE. You're allowed to be selfish and be upset about things. Don't take it to far. Don't let it rule your life. But if it's horrible enough to cry about it, let the tears flow.
Grieve over a tainted memory. It's called being human. Be upset at the person who did it for you and don't for one second feel that it's ok for someone to hurt you. I'm sad that they had a bad childhood but that never gives them a right to stick a knife in your life to cover up their pain.
Do we understand that we are PHYSICALLY KILLING OURSELVES just to keep someone else from getting in trouble?
Let's take another route and say that a natural disaster happened to us. You can yell at the wind and your cries will get lost. Yell at it anyways. Let yourself get physically upset for a little while.
YOU WERE NOT BORN WITH A CAPE, STOP ACTING LIKE YOU CAN HOLD THE WORLD ON YOUR SHOULDERS.
And don't try to be the world's advocate without advocating for yourself. You can't help someone else deal with a problem until you've dealt with it yourself.
Eating to hide pain is like putting a bandaid on a gun shot wound.
Internalizing pain is a gateway to cancer, heart problems, brain issues, and other parts of your body saying "I'M TIRED OF MENTALLY ABUSING MYSELF, I...TAP...OUT"
For years I internalized pain. I internalized every name I was called, being a young mom, watching the world around me crumble, being abused by people I thought I loved. In some sick sad way I blamed myself for everything. I just can't do it anymore. I really can't. And now I'm watching someone die of the physical aspect of internalizing pain. I would never wish their life on anyone. We just can't do this to ourselves.
So I'm going to recommend a movie for everyone that honestly changed my idea that I can hold it all in and be ok.
It's called "What the Bleep Do We Know?!? Down the Rabbit Hole"
It's a documentary/story about how we react to life and how it affects our body. If you can't watch the whole movie or can't find it here's a link to a very important part about how thoughts affect you.
I dare you to watch it.
Don't ever forget that you only get one chance at life. Don't waste it. Experience and love it. Don't be afraid to cry, don't be afraid to let go, don't be afraid to move on, don't be afraid to yell.
I LOVE YOU GUYS!
****************Help me save up to go back to school***********************
Shakeology (What I take to balance out my body.)
Beachbody (P90X, Insanity, TurboFire, supplements, fitness equipment.)
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Sunday, June 5, 2011
My first 5k!!!!
I only have one picture to post today. Sorry. I'm waiting for my MIL to download hers for me off of her computer and for the Brightroom pictures to be posted.
OMG so much fun!
Not sure how my results pic will look on here since it's pretty long BUT finished 1718 out of 2376. I told a few people that were looking at me like I was crazy for being ok with a 43:28 min 5k but whatever. Even I wasn't all that crazy about it because I've been so used to running 12 min miles. The simple fact of the matter is I still started all by myself and I still finished all by myself.
My husband, MIL, and kids all went with me. I'm surprised my kids were so good the whole day because the race was over an hour away from our house and we had to go out so early. I signed up during "late registration" so we had to get there an hour and a half early to get my packet. I NEVER thought I was going to get through that line. It wrapped around the whole parking lot which was huge and took us 45 min to get through. But at least we had time to put glowsticks in my hair and watch the other runners walking around in their costumes.
The race was to earn money for the Childrens Medical Center and the theme was FIREFLY. We each got LED blinking arm bands, glow in the dark running numbers, we put glow sticks in my hair and around my arms and neck, people were walking around with butterfly wings everywhere, it was definitely my style for the race.
There were no heats (they didn't separate by times or ages) so it was all 3,000 (they said there were more than 3,000) of us trying to funnel through the starting gate. I know quite a few people ended up deciding not to run after seeing the congestion of people. I have to admit that was the suckiest part of this race. But my adrenaline was pumping so hard that I was almost crying so I didn't care. Why my lips would start trembling at the start of a race, I have no clue, but I seriously almost started crying super happy tears or something.
Because of the blinking LED lights it was like an ocean of lit up people. So many of us wore the LED's as a headband so I could just watch the lights bobbing up and down like ocean waves. It was INCREDIBLE! Since it was a mix of walkers and runners and kids and adults and DOGS I ended up spending most of my energy trying to dodge around people. I ended up walking half the race because of it. There's a point where you just say your time isn't worth knocking people down. Other runners didn't believe that though
. One person had one of those thin line dog leashes and I almost tripped over their dog 3 times before almost face planting from running into the leash. There were parents coaching their kids for a jog. I couldn't believe the determination of some of these kids. It amazed me how much people loved this and how much they bonded over this. One guy waited to be the last person to go through the gate and was tapping people on the shoulder going "TAG! CATCH ME CATCH ME!" I ran after him for about 3 minutes before getting stuck behind some walkers. I walked some of the race with a Gorilla and a Banana. There was one 5 year old that I cheered on for a quarter mile and his dad told me I made their race and even came to find me after the race to say thank you again. The streets were lined with people that cheered and clapped. The police officers that set up the street blocks were giving us high fives and saluting us. The overall experience was just... there's no words for it. I was so overwhelmed with happiness that I literally did let a few tears slip.
When I hit the .3 mile left sign I saw the end of it and sprinted like a mad woman for it. Like I picked my pace up to the point of superwoman. I was so ready to hug my husband who was waiting for me at the finish line. His face showed how proud he was of me. It was too crowded for my MIL and my kids to stand with him so we found them at our meet up spot. My kids were jumping all over me. It was such a wonderful feeling.
Since it was almost 10 we didn't stay for the afterparty. I wanted to because it was a dance party with blinky lights and glow sticks and we all know mama loves to dance. But my kids were falling asleep standing up after their extremely long day. They were gone from the house from 2:30 to 11 pm. My poor kids.
I really encourage everyone, even the non-runners, to go to one of these. Participate or volunteer but you HAVE to experience this.
Some notes for myself for the next race and some advice for people who haven't done this yet:
- Sign up for your 5k a month in advance if they offer to give you your packets a day early for ontime registration. It's very frustrating trying to get it at the race.
- Eat a high carb meal 3 hours before the race. I was so anxious before the race that I thought I was going to throw up but the bread I ate really did give me that burst of energy I needed.
- Try a 5k that does heats. This keeps you from having to jump curbs like I did to not run into people. Without heats it just gets too congested with people.
-If you have a nike+ sensor, put your hand on the start button while going through the gate so you don't forget to start it. I was over a quarter into the race before I remembered mine.
-Don't worry about your music. You probably won't pay attention to it anyways. Make sure your headphone cord stays close to your body and don't wear it in a satchel side purse thing that your mother in love buys for your because she thought it was cute. You can buy Ipod pouches for your arm, if you have pockets string the cord under your shirt so that the cord doesn't get snagged on anything. I eventually just gave up on mine and the satchel irritated me enough that there were times I could run but didn't because I was busy trying not to let it strangle me. If you do listen to music, be sure that it's not so loud that you can't hear people around you.
-If you're a walker, stay to the right and as close to the curb as you can. It's not fair for the runners to have to run around you constantly and some of them do not care about plowing you down.
-If you have to go around someone, try not to jump up the curbs and run in the grass to go around them. It wastes so much energy and people were getting hurt left and right because of it. I'm pretty sure one of the curbs was the reason I bruised the bottom of my heel towards the end.
-Watch out for moms with running strollers. They are ruthless!
-If you bring your dog, make sure you've trained them to not sniff everyone. I don't want to hurt your dog. I really don't. But when they dart in front of me when I'm running, it's hard to not run into them.
-Thank the volunteers. They didn't HAVE to come cheer you on or give you water. They VOLUNTEERED to make your run easier.
-Some runners are just going to be rude. It happens. Don't let their negativity get you down. Just follow the rules and know they're idiots.
- If you need a pick me up, cheer on someone else. Chances are they will cheer you on to.
-SMILE, there are cameras everywhere and you want to look good in at least one picture to shove in your friends faces when they don't believe you ran a 5k.
-HAVE FUN AND ENJOY THE EXPERIENCE!
-Drink water and Gatorade after you're done so you don't pass out because that's bad.
Thank you guys for reading about my experience!!!!
And as usual, please support me in my effort to go back to school to become a nutritionist. Sales will help me pay for tuition.
Beachbody (P90X, INSANITY, TurboFire, supplements, fitness equipment)
Shakeology (What I take everyday to keep my metabolism going and my organs clean)
OMG so much fun!
Not sure how my results pic will look on here since it's pretty long BUT finished 1718 out of 2376. I told a few people that were looking at me like I was crazy for being ok with a 43:28 min 5k but whatever. Even I wasn't all that crazy about it because I've been so used to running 12 min miles. The simple fact of the matter is I still started all by myself and I still finished all by myself.
My husband, MIL, and kids all went with me. I'm surprised my kids were so good the whole day because the race was over an hour away from our house and we had to go out so early. I signed up during "late registration" so we had to get there an hour and a half early to get my packet. I NEVER thought I was going to get through that line. It wrapped around the whole parking lot which was huge and took us 45 min to get through. But at least we had time to put glowsticks in my hair and watch the other runners walking around in their costumes.
The race was to earn money for the Childrens Medical Center and the theme was FIREFLY. We each got LED blinking arm bands, glow in the dark running numbers, we put glow sticks in my hair and around my arms and neck, people were walking around with butterfly wings everywhere, it was definitely my style for the race.
There were no heats (they didn't separate by times or ages) so it was all 3,000 (they said there were more than 3,000) of us trying to funnel through the starting gate. I know quite a few people ended up deciding not to run after seeing the congestion of people. I have to admit that was the suckiest part of this race. But my adrenaline was pumping so hard that I was almost crying so I didn't care. Why my lips would start trembling at the start of a race, I have no clue, but I seriously almost started crying super happy tears or something.
Because of the blinking LED lights it was like an ocean of lit up people. So many of us wore the LED's as a headband so I could just watch the lights bobbing up and down like ocean waves. It was INCREDIBLE! Since it was a mix of walkers and runners and kids and adults and DOGS I ended up spending most of my energy trying to dodge around people. I ended up walking half the race because of it. There's a point where you just say your time isn't worth knocking people down. Other runners didn't believe that though
. One person had one of those thin line dog leashes and I almost tripped over their dog 3 times before almost face planting from running into the leash. There were parents coaching their kids for a jog. I couldn't believe the determination of some of these kids. It amazed me how much people loved this and how much they bonded over this. One guy waited to be the last person to go through the gate and was tapping people on the shoulder going "TAG! CATCH ME CATCH ME!" I ran after him for about 3 minutes before getting stuck behind some walkers. I walked some of the race with a Gorilla and a Banana. There was one 5 year old that I cheered on for a quarter mile and his dad told me I made their race and even came to find me after the race to say thank you again. The streets were lined with people that cheered and clapped. The police officers that set up the street blocks were giving us high fives and saluting us. The overall experience was just... there's no words for it. I was so overwhelmed with happiness that I literally did let a few tears slip. When I hit the .3 mile left sign I saw the end of it and sprinted like a mad woman for it. Like I picked my pace up to the point of superwoman. I was so ready to hug my husband who was waiting for me at the finish line. His face showed how proud he was of me. It was too crowded for my MIL and my kids to stand with him so we found them at our meet up spot. My kids were jumping all over me. It was such a wonderful feeling.
Since it was almost 10 we didn't stay for the afterparty. I wanted to because it was a dance party with blinky lights and glow sticks and we all know mama loves to dance. But my kids were falling asleep standing up after their extremely long day. They were gone from the house from 2:30 to 11 pm. My poor kids.
I really encourage everyone, even the non-runners, to go to one of these. Participate or volunteer but you HAVE to experience this.
Some notes for myself for the next race and some advice for people who haven't done this yet:
- Sign up for your 5k a month in advance if they offer to give you your packets a day early for ontime registration. It's very frustrating trying to get it at the race.
- Eat a high carb meal 3 hours before the race. I was so anxious before the race that I thought I was going to throw up but the bread I ate really did give me that burst of energy I needed.
- Try a 5k that does heats. This keeps you from having to jump curbs like I did to not run into people. Without heats it just gets too congested with people.
-If you have a nike+ sensor, put your hand on the start button while going through the gate so you don't forget to start it. I was over a quarter into the race before I remembered mine.
-Don't worry about your music. You probably won't pay attention to it anyways. Make sure your headphone cord stays close to your body and don't wear it in a satchel side purse thing that your mother in love buys for your because she thought it was cute. You can buy Ipod pouches for your arm, if you have pockets string the cord under your shirt so that the cord doesn't get snagged on anything. I eventually just gave up on mine and the satchel irritated me enough that there were times I could run but didn't because I was busy trying not to let it strangle me. If you do listen to music, be sure that it's not so loud that you can't hear people around you.
-If you're a walker, stay to the right and as close to the curb as you can. It's not fair for the runners to have to run around you constantly and some of them do not care about plowing you down.
-If you have to go around someone, try not to jump up the curbs and run in the grass to go around them. It wastes so much energy and people were getting hurt left and right because of it. I'm pretty sure one of the curbs was the reason I bruised the bottom of my heel towards the end.
-Watch out for moms with running strollers. They are ruthless!
-If you bring your dog, make sure you've trained them to not sniff everyone. I don't want to hurt your dog. I really don't. But when they dart in front of me when I'm running, it's hard to not run into them.
-Thank the volunteers. They didn't HAVE to come cheer you on or give you water. They VOLUNTEERED to make your run easier.
-Some runners are just going to be rude. It happens. Don't let their negativity get you down. Just follow the rules and know they're idiots.
- If you need a pick me up, cheer on someone else. Chances are they will cheer you on to.
-SMILE, there are cameras everywhere and you want to look good in at least one picture to shove in your friends faces when they don't believe you ran a 5k.
-HAVE FUN AND ENJOY THE EXPERIENCE!
-Drink water and Gatorade after you're done so you don't pass out because that's bad.
Thank you guys for reading about my experience!!!!
And as usual, please support me in my effort to go back to school to become a nutritionist. Sales will help me pay for tuition.
Beachbody (P90X, INSANITY, TurboFire, supplements, fitness equipment)
Shakeology (What I take everyday to keep my metabolism going and my organs clean)
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