After stepping on the scale today I got what I had asked for. I gained two pounds. No I did not ask for it out of excitement. I asked for it by not following through with the goals I had set for myself.
It's moments when you gain that put your diet into a true perspective. After losing a few pounds you don't sit down and say what can I do better? If you're losing you're probably on the right track. But gaining... ughhh gaining... you know in your heart why you did. If you were hitting the gym or exercising and sticking to your diet, you probably gained muscle. Kudos to you if you did because that's two extra pounds of muscle speeding up your metabolism and hacking away at those calories. But if you're second guessing before you even step on the scale, it's time to decide where to go from here.
So what does it take to lose weight?
So far I keep hearing the word willpower. I heard from a brilliant lady yesterday that there are two types of willpower, negative and positive. Each decision takes willpower. You run far far away from the cookie, you're using your jedi willpower: that willpower that tells you to show those girl scouts your grrr face and abandon those calories. If you take the cookie you have just practiced your darkside willpower: the willpower that says I don't care what that nutrition label says, those girls baked me cookies and it's my job to eat them.
Now that I've brought up my little star wars analogy I'm going to tell you what I thought about today in a way that would make star wars fans like my brother truly proud.
Here's your cast:
Darth Vader (Boooooooooo)- Temptation and bad habits you've learned.
Luke Skywalker (he had a crush on his sister hahahaha nerd)- Willpower, the thing that keeps you from picking up that cookie.
Hans Solo- Motivation, the thing that points you in the right direction and moves you foreward
Chewbaca (I'd do my chewbaca noise but it only sounds like a dieing herd of sheep)- Support group, the cute furry friends you have that don't mind hugging you when you need it
Yoda- Discipline, lets face it, you have to stick to things, this is a life long journey, not an 80 lbs lost and its over with.
Luke Skywalker could not have defeated the dark side alone. Willpower will not shed those pounds. Willpower gives in. Which one do you want to be? I don't want to be on the dark side but I gave in and didn't do my runs and made excuses and nibbled on this and that and ate foods I knew were bad for me. I wasn't just missing willpower. I didn't look at my motivation. I didn't practice discipline and follow my week's schedule. I had tons of support from friends so thank you Chewy for always being there. But Chewy really only shot a few stormtroopers and made funny noises. It's the whole group that is going to put me back together again.
So do you get my analogy? I hope so.
Well this is what I leave you with today.
My goals for this week:
1.walk/run 9 miles
2.burn at least 350 cal a day on the kinect
3. stay within my cal/protein/carbs/fat limits
4. forgive myself for this week
5. laugh at a stormtrooper
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
It's a different way of thinking
I was reading some of the introductions to a few friend pages on sparkpeople.
HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU TO JOIN SPARKPEOPLE.COM! GO DO IT NOW! Then come back and read the rest of this.
So I came across a new friend on my page and here was her intro
"
I've been told that I'm ugly, I believe this. I've been told I'm beautiful, I don't believe this. What is my point here? Because I believe I'm ugly, I do ugly things e.g. disregarding my health, stuffing my emotions, etc. For the record, more people often than not have told me I'm pretty but it's the people who've told me that I'm ugly that have taken over my heart and mind. I'm trying to change this. I'm trying to let it be, in the famous words of John Lennon! I forgive myself for neglecting my health and treating myself like crap. I thought losing weight was the hardest thing I'd ever have to do, but forgiving myself and others is what's the hardest thing to do. I feel like I've wronged myself more than others have wronged me, and that I've not wronged others as much as I've being wronged, but that is not true. When I was in pain, I did some foolish and mean things to people who cared for me and who were innocent, for that I'm sorry and will and have made restitution to those people as best I can. I've had a sense of entitlement because I've been hurt and my pain demanded accountability. I've shared that I've had some things happen to me that shaped the way I viewed my body but my body is not mine to misuse. I am God's vessel. I'm done with regrets, anger and it's odious relative, resentment. For me, it's about feeling my emotions and processing them in an appropriate manner. All this time, I've been thinking that weight loss would be the cure all for loving myself but the truth is, losing weight is a way for me to gain love from others and myself, because I think I'm ugly. It's a double edged sword that I have to lose weight not because I'm ugly and don't deserve love but because my health is at stake. I've lost eighteen pounds but I've had setbacks. Why? Well, I can attribute some of this to not getting the praise I deserve from people I love. I know it takes time to notice weight loss, but I want my Mom to be proud of me. I used to think I hate her but I don't. I love her because she gave birth to me, and deep down I think I'm all that and a bag of chips. We all have our reasons for our behavior and I believe we act certain ways due to hurts in our past. I was so consumed by my own pain, that I didn't think about my Mom's pain, my Dad's pain, my sister's pain, etc. I believe that life is about feelings and while feelings can be fickle, feelings are a part of us and who we are. The weight loss portion of this journey of mine can be read in my blogs and on the Goals and Program section of this page."
Don't you want to hug her? I do. I think we all need to step back from this weight loss journey thing and take a good look at ourselves. Look at what we do have. I can tell you I have my skin, my eyes, 10 fingers, 10 toes, laugh lines, a smile, all the things I SHOULD be looking at in that mirror. Yes I am overweight. Yes I'm unhealthy. But I'm me. My image was inspired by GOD. He made me exactly the way I should be. I need to take care of it but it feels good to know that I HAVE LIFE. I have a beating heart under all of this. I have lungs to take in oxygen. Can you make a human? I know I can have a baby but I can't speak a child into existence. I can't make their heart beat. I can't make their liver work. I can't make their stomach digest. I AM A MIRACLE IN ACTION. So what does that make me? BEAUTIFUL. Never forget you are a miracle. Never forget you were spoken into creation. Never forget your life has a purpose. It's not about that mirror. It's about loving life.
My reply to her
"I was reading your intro and I honestly just want to hug you right now. I spent years looking into a mirror asking why my sister was so beautiful and God made me so ugly. My husband could tell me I'm beautiful all he wanted but the mirror didn't lie to me. After praying and handing my weight over to God I saw a new image. I looked in the mirror and I saw God's creation. Skin, eyes, a beating heart, laugh lines, 10 fingers, 10 toes. A child of God is never an ugly thing. Yes you need to lose weight for your health but never look in that mirror and feel like you deserve anything less than what God wants to give you. And every day He gives you another day. Another day to take care of yourself, another day to nourish your body with food that will keep you healthy, a new day to get out realize the ground under your feet and the sky above your head. The devil wants you to doubt yourself and your relationships. But I can tell you that the fact that you can look in that mirror and want to change... makes you beautiful. "
That's my message to all of you today. Take control of your life, not your weight. Enjoy your life. This is your existence. This is your one chance. Love it for everything it's made available to you.
Peace.
HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU TO JOIN SPARKPEOPLE.COM! GO DO IT NOW! Then come back and read the rest of this.
So I came across a new friend on my page and here was her intro
"
Finding Bella!
I've been told that I'm ugly, I believe this. I've been told I'm beautiful, I don't believe this. What is my point here? Because I believe I'm ugly, I do ugly things e.g. disregarding my health, stuffing my emotions, etc. For the record, more people often than not have told me I'm pretty but it's the people who've told me that I'm ugly that have taken over my heart and mind. I'm trying to change this. I'm trying to let it be, in the famous words of John Lennon! I forgive myself for neglecting my health and treating myself like crap. I thought losing weight was the hardest thing I'd ever have to do, but forgiving myself and others is what's the hardest thing to do. I feel like I've wronged myself more than others have wronged me, and that I've not wronged others as much as I've being wronged, but that is not true. When I was in pain, I did some foolish and mean things to people who cared for me and who were innocent, for that I'm sorry and will and have made restitution to those people as best I can. I've had a sense of entitlement because I've been hurt and my pain demanded accountability. I've shared that I've had some things happen to me that shaped the way I viewed my body but my body is not mine to misuse. I am God's vessel. I'm done with regrets, anger and it's odious relative, resentment. For me, it's about feeling my emotions and processing them in an appropriate manner. All this time, I've been thinking that weight loss would be the cure all for loving myself but the truth is, losing weight is a way for me to gain love from others and myself, because I think I'm ugly. It's a double edged sword that I have to lose weight not because I'm ugly and don't deserve love but because my health is at stake. I've lost eighteen pounds but I've had setbacks. Why? Well, I can attribute some of this to not getting the praise I deserve from people I love. I know it takes time to notice weight loss, but I want my Mom to be proud of me. I used to think I hate her but I don't. I love her because she gave birth to me, and deep down I think I'm all that and a bag of chips. We all have our reasons for our behavior and I believe we act certain ways due to hurts in our past. I was so consumed by my own pain, that I didn't think about my Mom's pain, my Dad's pain, my sister's pain, etc. I believe that life is about feelings and while feelings can be fickle, feelings are a part of us and who we are. The weight loss portion of this journey of mine can be read in my blogs and on the Goals and Program section of this page."
Don't you want to hug her? I do. I think we all need to step back from this weight loss journey thing and take a good look at ourselves. Look at what we do have. I can tell you I have my skin, my eyes, 10 fingers, 10 toes, laugh lines, a smile, all the things I SHOULD be looking at in that mirror. Yes I am overweight. Yes I'm unhealthy. But I'm me. My image was inspired by GOD. He made me exactly the way I should be. I need to take care of it but it feels good to know that I HAVE LIFE. I have a beating heart under all of this. I have lungs to take in oxygen. Can you make a human? I know I can have a baby but I can't speak a child into existence. I can't make their heart beat. I can't make their liver work. I can't make their stomach digest. I AM A MIRACLE IN ACTION. So what does that make me? BEAUTIFUL. Never forget you are a miracle. Never forget you were spoken into creation. Never forget your life has a purpose. It's not about that mirror. It's about loving life.
My reply to her
"I was reading your intro and I honestly just want to hug you right now. I spent years looking into a mirror asking why my sister was so beautiful and God made me so ugly. My husband could tell me I'm beautiful all he wanted but the mirror didn't lie to me. After praying and handing my weight over to God I saw a new image. I looked in the mirror and I saw God's creation. Skin, eyes, a beating heart, laugh lines, 10 fingers, 10 toes. A child of God is never an ugly thing. Yes you need to lose weight for your health but never look in that mirror and feel like you deserve anything less than what God wants to give you. And every day He gives you another day. Another day to take care of yourself, another day to nourish your body with food that will keep you healthy, a new day to get out realize the ground under your feet and the sky above your head. The devil wants you to doubt yourself and your relationships. But I can tell you that the fact that you can look in that mirror and want to change... makes you beautiful. "
That's my message to all of you today. Take control of your life, not your weight. Enjoy your life. This is your existence. This is your one chance. Love it for everything it's made available to you.
Peace.
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Dear Self, Dear Heart
Dear Self,
I'm going to be brutally honest with you, this attitude does not look good on you. Yes, periods suck. Yes your back has been hurting. Yes you've been tired. But this "Oh well" attitude has no excuses. Sunday you walked back into the house after a fast walk and wanted to kick the door down with joy. Saturday you ran a .4 miles when you thought you only had .1 in you. You finished the mile in 14 mintues. 14!!!! You were so excited! Friday you were giggling and laughing with your kids while they rollerbladed and you ran with them. You didn't even complain after falling and bruising both knees. Don't step on that scale. If you've lost weight over the last few days I'm not happy for you. Yes this was about weight. But it was about a new mindset also. In fact THIS WAS ALL ABOUT BEING A BETTER NEW YOU. This is all you Laura. Wake up and smell the roses, there's no magical cure that's going to do this for you. You put the food in your mouth. You kept your butt on that couch. You made those excuses. No one forced you to do all that. Today is a new day. Today is the day YOU tell ME off. Today is the day you stop typing, stop reading, stop procrastinating, put on those new shoes, and get out there and run. Hate me today. I'm ok with that. You're going to love me later. It's time you loved yourself. Get back to me when you're done whining and ready for winning. I love you girly. I just want to see the best for you.
Love always,
Your heart
Dear Heart,
I understand your concern. I should have taken into consideration your health is in my hands. I'd be pretty mad at me too. Just wanted to let you know after I read your note I decided to go out to our favorite park. I went 2 miles in 40 min which means I took 2 min off each mile. BOOYAH! IN YO FACE!
Love you too,
Self
I'm going to be brutally honest with you, this attitude does not look good on you. Yes, periods suck. Yes your back has been hurting. Yes you've been tired. But this "Oh well" attitude has no excuses. Sunday you walked back into the house after a fast walk and wanted to kick the door down with joy. Saturday you ran a .4 miles when you thought you only had .1 in you. You finished the mile in 14 mintues. 14!!!! You were so excited! Friday you were giggling and laughing with your kids while they rollerbladed and you ran with them. You didn't even complain after falling and bruising both knees. Don't step on that scale. If you've lost weight over the last few days I'm not happy for you. Yes this was about weight. But it was about a new mindset also. In fact THIS WAS ALL ABOUT BEING A BETTER NEW YOU. This is all you Laura. Wake up and smell the roses, there's no magical cure that's going to do this for you. You put the food in your mouth. You kept your butt on that couch. You made those excuses. No one forced you to do all that. Today is a new day. Today is the day YOU tell ME off. Today is the day you stop typing, stop reading, stop procrastinating, put on those new shoes, and get out there and run. Hate me today. I'm ok with that. You're going to love me later. It's time you loved yourself. Get back to me when you're done whining and ready for winning. I love you girly. I just want to see the best for you.
Love always,
Your heart
Dear Heart,
I understand your concern. I should have taken into consideration your health is in my hands. I'd be pretty mad at me too. Just wanted to let you know after I read your note I decided to go out to our favorite park. I went 2 miles in 40 min which means I took 2 min off each mile. BOOYAH! IN YO FACE!
Love you too,
Self
Monday, January 10, 2011
I lurrrrve my nike+
So I got them. (Nike+ shoes and sensor). I think it's one of my better decisions.
For those of you who don't know what they are, it's a shoe, basic running shoe, but it has a sensor in the bottom of the left shoe. That sensor connects to a sensor in a watch that you have to buy. If you have an IPod or IPhone you only have to get the + connection which is much cheaper... but I love my droid phone and Apple can suck it. *cough cough* I mean *cough cough* I would rather have my droid phone. In the wristband or your IPhone (sigh) the sensors record your run speed, your calories burned, your mileage, and once you plug that device into your computer it stores and records it all for you and draws out a map of your run. It shows your peaks (faster runs) and dips (where you were walking you cheater!) and makes a little bar graph of it. It even lets you challenge others, challenge yourself, and creates a running plan for you. I find all this extremely motivating.
My post prior to this one I explained my first day with the shoes. Since then I have figured out how to change the accuracy of the mileage. Nike has this program set up so basic that even ignoramouses like myself could figure it out. I ended up running again on Saturday. That time was .4 miles running and .6 walking. Even with the freezing weather I was craving a run on Sunday to see if I could beat that. BUT the weather outside was frightful, and my heater was so delightful,... and out of grrrrrrrness I walked my 1.13 miles at a speed of 22 min a mile. According to my wristband, because of my weight that was 250 calories. Some might say "Pfffft 250 calories. I can get that in 10 min on my treadmill." I'm happy for you, I really am. But this is my alone time. My me, music, and nature time. It's fresh air, different scenery, a wave from a stranger, a cheer from another stranger, a trip off the sidewalk, and an instant laugh right after that. There's something so freeing about using your God given path... that has been covered with asphalt, distorted by streetlights, and very little trees... Ok I made that sound bad but its not a wall or a tv in front of you with the buzz of your belt rotating underneath you. I can also promise you that a treadmill will not get me ready for this 5k. It lacks... everything. Running on a street and a treadmill are like baking from scratch and baking out of a box. You get the same result (miles, cal burned, recorded time) but there's so many more obstacles and a sense of accomplishment from scratch.
I do have a few requests if you're going to try the running path.
1. Buy a few 2 lb weights with hand straps. I got some from Walmart for 6$. I prefer the strap because I tend to drop things when I trip. I trip a lot.
2. If you have a smart phone, download the Pandora application. This lets you pick an artist and then streams continuous music from that artist or music from someone else that your artist recommends. It pretty much all follows the same genre. Then pick an artist who's music tends to make you auto-strut if you're walking while listening. And I'm not talking about a beegees strut. I'm talking "My booty has a mind of it's own and I feel like waving my hands up in the air and dancing" strut. The one you have to hold in or people will look at you funny. Anything in the grouping of "Happy hardcore" tends to work. These are "rave" songs that have a ton of bounce to them. Why this music? It tends to make you walk faster with the rhythm. That way you're not letting your mind wander and getting a 25 min mile.
3. STRETCH. This probably should have been number one but I don't feel like going back and fixing it now. You may think you look goofy but honestly your neighbors and people in the parks know what a stretch is. They'll understand and get over it. Without stretching you could seriously tear some muscles. No pain no gain right? Ehhhhhh maybe but if you're in pain because you didn't stretch you're a butthead for caring more about your appearance than your body. Save yourself a couple of tylenol and just stretch. It's not that bad and only takes 2 min of your time.
4. Start out walking. I've been walking which is why I've now turned to running. But if your full goal is a 5k start out walking the full 3.2 miles. Let this be your time to figure out how much time would be your worst. Get comfortable with walking heel to toe. Learn to breath through your mouth and nose at the same time. If you rush into running you're going to end up giving up. Once you've done that for 1-2 weeks THEN transition some running in. But don't expect to run the whole 3 miles the first day. Your lungs won't be ready. Your leg muscles are going to laugh at you. It's just not going to work out. Here are a few websites that help you get started on running:
http://running.about.com/od/getstartedwithrunning/ht/getstarted.htm
http://running.about.com/od/racetraining/a/first5K.htm
http://www.halhigdon.com/5K%20Training/5-Knovice.htm
There are a ton more but running.about.com has been my biggest help. I understand I've only been running for a week but after working with a ton of marathon runners running.about.com has agreed with them the most. In fact most of my tips have come from my friends who actually use up vacation time just to run. So with that being said
6. Talk to friends who love to run. Ask them what's worked for them, why it's become an addiction. Without their help I wouldn't have even started walking and now I'm actually enjoying the adrenaline rush of a run... even if it's only .1 miles at a time.
So there's my blog for today. I'll be able to give more info the more I run.
Tomorrow I'll be talking about music and why it's so important to your exercise.
I hope everyone is having a wonderful day. GOOD LUCK TO EVERYONE!!!!
For those of you who don't know what they are, it's a shoe, basic running shoe, but it has a sensor in the bottom of the left shoe. That sensor connects to a sensor in a watch that you have to buy. If you have an IPod or IPhone you only have to get the + connection which is much cheaper... but I love my droid phone and Apple can suck it. *cough cough* I mean *cough cough* I would rather have my droid phone. In the wristband or your IPhone (sigh) the sensors record your run speed, your calories burned, your mileage, and once you plug that device into your computer it stores and records it all for you and draws out a map of your run. It shows your peaks (faster runs) and dips (where you were walking you cheater!) and makes a little bar graph of it. It even lets you challenge others, challenge yourself, and creates a running plan for you. I find all this extremely motivating.
My post prior to this one I explained my first day with the shoes. Since then I have figured out how to change the accuracy of the mileage. Nike has this program set up so basic that even ignoramouses like myself could figure it out. I ended up running again on Saturday. That time was .4 miles running and .6 walking. Even with the freezing weather I was craving a run on Sunday to see if I could beat that. BUT the weather outside was frightful, and my heater was so delightful,... and out of grrrrrrrness I walked my 1.13 miles at a speed of 22 min a mile. According to my wristband, because of my weight that was 250 calories. Some might say "Pfffft 250 calories. I can get that in 10 min on my treadmill." I'm happy for you, I really am. But this is my alone time. My me, music, and nature time. It's fresh air, different scenery, a wave from a stranger, a cheer from another stranger, a trip off the sidewalk, and an instant laugh right after that. There's something so freeing about using your God given path... that has been covered with asphalt, distorted by streetlights, and very little trees... Ok I made that sound bad but its not a wall or a tv in front of you with the buzz of your belt rotating underneath you. I can also promise you that a treadmill will not get me ready for this 5k. It lacks... everything. Running on a street and a treadmill are like baking from scratch and baking out of a box. You get the same result (miles, cal burned, recorded time) but there's so many more obstacles and a sense of accomplishment from scratch.
I do have a few requests if you're going to try the running path.
1. Buy a few 2 lb weights with hand straps. I got some from Walmart for 6$. I prefer the strap because I tend to drop things when I trip. I trip a lot.
2. If you have a smart phone, download the Pandora application. This lets you pick an artist and then streams continuous music from that artist or music from someone else that your artist recommends. It pretty much all follows the same genre. Then pick an artist who's music tends to make you auto-strut if you're walking while listening. And I'm not talking about a beegees strut. I'm talking "My booty has a mind of it's own and I feel like waving my hands up in the air and dancing" strut. The one you have to hold in or people will look at you funny. Anything in the grouping of "Happy hardcore" tends to work. These are "rave" songs that have a ton of bounce to them. Why this music? It tends to make you walk faster with the rhythm. That way you're not letting your mind wander and getting a 25 min mile.
3. STRETCH. This probably should have been number one but I don't feel like going back and fixing it now. You may think you look goofy but honestly your neighbors and people in the parks know what a stretch is. They'll understand and get over it. Without stretching you could seriously tear some muscles. No pain no gain right? Ehhhhhh maybe but if you're in pain because you didn't stretch you're a butthead for caring more about your appearance than your body. Save yourself a couple of tylenol and just stretch. It's not that bad and only takes 2 min of your time.
4. Start out walking. I've been walking which is why I've now turned to running. But if your full goal is a 5k start out walking the full 3.2 miles. Let this be your time to figure out how much time would be your worst. Get comfortable with walking heel to toe. Learn to breath through your mouth and nose at the same time. If you rush into running you're going to end up giving up. Once you've done that for 1-2 weeks THEN transition some running in. But don't expect to run the whole 3 miles the first day. Your lungs won't be ready. Your leg muscles are going to laugh at you. It's just not going to work out. Here are a few websites that help you get started on running:
http://running.about.com/od/getstartedwithrunning/ht/getstarted.htm
http://running.about.com/od/racetraining/a/first5K.htm
http://www.halhigdon.com/5K%20Training/5-Knovice.htm
There are a ton more but running.about.com has been my biggest help. I understand I've only been running for a week but after working with a ton of marathon runners running.about.com has agreed with them the most. In fact most of my tips have come from my friends who actually use up vacation time just to run. So with that being said
6. Talk to friends who love to run. Ask them what's worked for them, why it's become an addiction. Without their help I wouldn't have even started walking and now I'm actually enjoying the adrenaline rush of a run... even if it's only .1 miles at a time.
So there's my blog for today. I'll be able to give more info the more I run.
Tomorrow I'll be talking about music and why it's so important to your exercise.
I hope everyone is having a wonderful day. GOOD LUCK TO EVERYONE!!!!
Friday, January 7, 2011
Nike+ first day
Songlist for today:
Cascada: Evacuate the dance floor
Katy Perry: Fireworks
Scooter: Jumping all over the world
Scooter: Hypa Hypa
Far East Movement: Rocketeer
Fort Minor: Remember the Name
Tip for the day:
Find a song that you can put a movie of your weight loss to. Example- Katy Perry, Firework. Imagine moments in your weight loss you would love put on camera and make a mental slideshow as you listen to your song. Even better, if a friend is with you, ask them to take a few pictures of you on your workout and every 20 pounds make a new video.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
shapeups and 5k training no no
I had fun doing this after work and taking the boys to school today. It was great thinking time. I was so happy with 20 min a mile at just walking because that means I can do the 5k in an hour. I'm aiming for 40 min. Think I can do it?
sick but still going
I'm sorry it's been a while. I keep falling asleep before work which is when I usually exercise and post. I'm feeling tons better today and hopefully will be back to normal tomorrow.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)